One
by jaimiee
Summary: I'm so tired but I can't sleep, standing on the edge of something much too deep. Different Season 5 coda. You'll figure it out. COMPLETE.
1. Nothing More To Give

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone

I lost myself in a familiar song.

- Boston, More than a Feeling

* * *

The headphones flood with sound as he presses play on his i-pod. He spends the entire drive debating weather or not he should really do this. So she misses him, so what? He's nervous because she's the most recent girl he pictured his future with, It's too late though because his feet have already carried him to the door of her hotel room, and his hand is balled into a fist rapping lightly on the door.

"Lucas?" She looks tired.

"Hi."

"So,"

"I got your message." He says, breathing deeply. "Let's go to Vegas."

"I- Wait, what? Vegas? Why?" She manages.

"Let's just get away, let's get married away from everyone, I love you Lindsey so let's just go." Lucas pleads.

"Married?"

"Married."

"I can't." is all he catches before the door is slammed in his face.

* * *

It amazes him how she can do this. How both of them can. Lindsey drives him to this, to Tric where he drinks his problems away. However Tric is really where he shouldn't be, in case the other one decides to rescue him. Peyton has this magic talent to just make his girlfriends, or fiancés, disappear. Then he's back to feeling like he needs to save her from the heartache he caused.

* * *

He's knocking on a door again, but this time it's because he needs to be saved, instead of the other way around.

"Lucas?"

"Hi." He says. It's seems like déjà vu, except he's slurring this time.

"Are you drunk?"

"Are you my mother?" He knows it's harsh, but he's not exactly a ray of sunshine right now.

"Did you drive here drunk?"

"I walked."

"From?"

"Brooke can we stop with the 20 questions?" It's the most coherent thought he's had all night.

"Come in." She says, stepping out of the door way.

* * *

It amazes him how she can do this, just take him in after all he's done to her, breaking her heart and what not. But she's got this magic ability to just get past it all and take care of him when he's completely wrecked, like he is now.

And it's not like with Peyton, where he's the hero and he knows it, or with Lindsey, where they can make each other feel safe and happy. She's Brooke Davis, she's a hero and she's clueless.

* * *

**Possible chapter story. Depends on reviews and **_**ideas**_**. If you have any I would ****love ****to hear them.**

**-i own one tree hill. because i'm mark schwann in disguise. riiight.**


	2. Noise That You'll Hear

**I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking **

**That maybe six feet **

**Ain't so far down**

**- Creed, One Last Breath**

* * *

The phone is ringing. Really loud. He's in an unfamiliar bed, with a familiar scent. The phone stops and she pops her head in to check on you, and whispers a quick sorry for the wake-up call, literally.

He rolls over to bury his head in the pillow an inhale her scent for old times sake and ends up on the rug. She laughs from where she's standing and goes back to the person on the phone. He turns to look at her and is surprised by what he sees. Usually Brooke Davis in the morning is like the rest of the world in the afternoon, chipper, dressed, perfect. Instead she's in loose sweatpants and a navy blue t-shirt with her hair pulled into a messy bun, dark auburn strands framing her face.

* * *

"Luke, you know rug burns are so last season." She laughs, putting the phone down on her nightstand an offering him a hand. He groans and grabs her hand, standing up a little too quickly because the room starts to spin and he falls back on to the bed. She laughs again and lies down with him, both of them staring at the ceiling.

"I have no pants on." He says.

"You catch on quick Mr. Scott." She laughs sarcastically.

"How did we get like this?"

"You hungover and lying in my bed in your boxers, or me not hung over and still in my pajamas at 11:30 in the morning?"

"It's 11:30 already?"

"Yeah why? You got a hot date with Peyton?" Brooke laughs.

"Absolutely not." He says rolling over.

* * *

She's still not dressed as she lies on the couch and stuffs her face with cheese doodles, he lies on the other end with a can of Pepsi.

"Thank you for this." He says.

"For what?" Brooke questions.

"For sitting around here being fat with me and not asking why I came here drunk last night. I'm lucky to have you as my best friend."

"Well your luck is about to run out because I am crazy-confused as to why you showed up on my doorstep smelling like Owen's 'Brooke Davis Special'?"

"Because I told Lindsey we should go to Vegas to elope and she slammed the door in my face." Lucas says, a hint of anger in his voice.

"Why do you always come to me after your failed proposals?" she laughs and he smirks as they settle back into watching Weird Science.

* * *

**I want someone to know me, **

**Maybe tell me who I am. **

**- Third Eye Blind, Darkness**

* * *

"I love you Brooke, you know that?"

"Love you too, Broody Boy."

* * *

**I haven't got a clue how long this will be, but I swear on my like that, unlike all my other chapter stories, it will be finished.**

**-It'd be way to hard to own One Tree Hill. So I don't.**


	3. With Hollow Words

**Bent out of shape from society's pliers**

**Cares not to come up any higher**

**But rather get you down in the hole that he's in.**

* * *

There's a sharp pain in his neck as he sits up, and another one when he collides heads with Brooke, who looks like she's been up and watching him for a while.

"You know you talk in your sleep?" She says while rubbing her forehead.

"And how exactly would I know that if I'm asleep?"

"Gee, someone's a little grouchy when they wake up. Me-ow." She says turning her head away.

"What did I say?" He sighs.

"I dunno, I love Chris Keller, butt-sex, something like that." She says plainly.

* * *

He looks at her dumbly and then shoots her a glare when she starts laughing. "What time is it?" He asks.

"Around 6. Peyton's gonna be home soon." She answers.

"So?"

"Well considering your last words to her were 'I Hate You' I'm sure the 3 of us eating dinner together would be a little bit awkward,

"Ugh, fine I'll go. Just remember next time I need something that you kicked me out while I was slightly hungover and lonely." He laughs.

They get up off the couch they've been occupying for the last 7 hours and Brooke picks up the remaining food. He stands awkwardly in the middle of her living room and looks around at the scattered baby toys, the only proof that Angie had been a part of Brooke's life. Of their life. Because even if he doesn't want to admit that he's been hiding from his problems behind an infant, he has.

"Where are my pants?" He asks.

"Well, you haven't asked me that sin the beginning of senior year." She say kinking her eyebrow. They hold each other's gaze for a little. And then Peyton walks in, and Lucas has no pants on, and Brooke's got sex hair.

* * *

**Honest is easy. Fiction is where genius lies.**

* * *

"Heh. Peyton." She throws her a nervous smile. Peyton has this tendency to get kind of-

"What. The. Fuck."

* * *

**Okay, so I know the chapters are pretty short but it's a lot easier for me to update that way. And I wanted to let Brooke and Lucas have a funny, best friend sort of relationship, so there it is. Review please, because I want to know if anyone's still reading the story.**

**-If I said I was Mark Schwann would you believe me? Probably not.**


	4. Pale

"**I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning." –The Perks Of Being A Wallflower**

--

"Brooke." Peyton says.

"Peyton." Brooke replies.

"Can I talk to Lucas for just a second?" she spits sarcastically. Brooke pats Lucas on the back lightly. "Good luck." She whispers in his ear before stepping upstairs, leaning over the railing out of sight just in case they start making death threats. She loves Peyton, she does, but having been the Lindsey previously she can't help feeling a twinge of resentment.

"Luke?"

"Peyton."

"What happened to us Luke?"

"You said no. I moved on. You got stuck in the past, our past."

"It's not the past Luke. It doesn't have to be. I know you think you hate me but-"

"You may have created my past and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future Peyton. Lindsey is gone. And she's not coming back. And I'm going to go upstairs now and get my pants, and then I'm gonna leave. And when I figure out my life, then I'll come find you"

--

He moves to go up the stairs but she stops him.

"Suddenly, it was as if roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzer, and the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from a thousand miles away. And what remained in that bizarre muffled silence was only Peyton, the girl whose art and passion and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity, the realization that we had always been meant for each other, and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a **denial** of the following truth. I was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer." She quotes.

Lucas sighs and continues up the stairs. "Bye Peyton."

--

Brooke's eyes darken when Peyton repeats the passage from Lucas's book. The one quote that made her cry. That told her their relationship was a lie. A single tear slips down he cheek and she wonders why, because her and Lucas have been over for a long time.

But how do you leave the past behind, when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?

**And its times like this that I dread**

**When there's everything to say, and nothing left to be said**


	5. Split Personalities

**Turn down the lights, turn down the bed  
Turn down these voices inside my head**

--

He leaves Brooke's house without saying goodbye to her, he's not really sure where she is anyway. When he walked up the stairs she had disappeared, funny, he figured she'd be creeping down the stairs to eavesdrop in true Brooke Davis Fashion. He still can't believe Peyton had managed to memorize the passage of his book. The book, well books, that ruined his relationship with Lindsey. He needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut, or his pen…closed, or his laptop off or whatever.

--

Peyton skulks into her bedroom, without saying hello to Brooke, she's not really sure where the brunette is anyway. She pulls off her jeans and crawls into bed, not bothering with anything else. Sure, she has work to do but it's just a little hard to focus when your true love tells you to stay away from him. She's trying to push everything out of her mind and fall asleep, a good nap is what she needs, to just get away from the world for a little. Wow that sure is a morbid thought, but losing Lucas will not make her suicidal. She gets comfortable and drifts off. Crap, she's got to pee.

--

The tiled floor is cold, and she wonders why tile is always cold, even though it's summer. She sits in the bathroom corner and cries, because it's what she does every once in a while, just cries for everything and everyone so she can at least stay composed during the day. She cries for the pain she knows will catch up with her, and for baby Angie and the operation, for Peyton and her heartbreak, and Lucas and his inability to freaking pick a stupid girl already. It's not like she cares, you know? Why should she? But she hates that she doesn't and that all she wanted was for him to fight for her when she couldn't even do it herself. She hated the stupid best friend death wish love triangle, but she loved it too, because she loved him, she loves him. Then she hears the footsteps, and it's not like she's in her slicing her wrists open and getting off on the pain, she may love Lucas but she's not suicidal, so there's noting to be embarrassed about right? Wrong. She's Brooke Penelope Fucking Davis, and she refuses to be vulnerable, no matter how freaking beautiful he thinks it is.

--

**Cause I can't make you love me if you don't  
You can't make your heart feel something it won't  
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours  
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power  
But you won't, no, you won't  
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't**


	6. How Do I Blame You

Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong

**Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night. - Charlie Brown**

xx

"Hi."

"Why are you sitting on the bathroom floor?"

"It's hot."

"I have to pee."

"I'll be out in a second."

Peyton turns around, momentarily confused, but brushes it off and walks out of the bathroom. Brooke's her best friend and if something was going on she would know about. Wouldn't she?

She sits of the floor, letting the cold seep in before getting up. Stealing a look at herself in the mirror, she feels like this isn't the person people know and love. Brooke on the outside is happy, Brooke on the inside, not so much. She doesn't want pity. Or help. Just someone to face the bad days with. A best friend, she likes to think Peyton can be quite selfish at times, and Haley just isn't selfish enough, with all her marriage drama. Or a boy, 'cause she hates to sleep alone. Brooke shakes it off, the depression, and stalks of to her bed, smiling slightly to Peyton as she goes.

xx

They're together again, at his house this time, and he's making pancakes. She likes pancakes, even for dinner. But as he's standing there, mixing batter, and she's in the freezer looking for bacon, she can't help but think that he writes what he can't say. He didn't want to break her heart in person, so he told her she was meaningless in a book. And she doesn't mean to say it, but she does.

"Did you love me?" she asks, shutting the freezer door.

"What?" He stops mixing.

"When we dated. Did you love me?"

"How could you even ask that? Of course I did." And he's serious.

"Then why did you write that?"

"Can we be just a little bit specific?"

She sighs and realizes that she's just got to come out with it.

"And every instinct to the contrary was a denial of the following truth. I was and always would be in love with-"

"Does everyone have to fucking memorize that part?"

"Is it true?"

"No."

"So then why did you write it?"

"Because you hurt me Brooke. You broke my fucking heart." He shouts. "I wanted to hurt you. And then you read the book, and you said nothing. Nothing! Just because we weren't dating doesn't mean I expected it not to hurt you. And you still said nothing, That broke my heart."

She doesn't expect him to tell the truth. And when he shouts, it hurts.

xx

Anti-depressants. Anti-Friggen-Depressants. The therapist prescribed them to her today. The therapist she started to see when she came back to town. When she found out he was seeing someone. She's not that screwed up. So what if she spends a little more time in bed? Who cares? It's not like she has a boss or anything. So she gets up, and she walks. And poof, there she is at his door. Once painted red for the girl he loved, and black when that girl broke his heart. But she isn't that girl.

"Hi." He whispers.

"Hi." She says. "Can I stay with you?" It's quiet, and he barely hears it.

"Of course." He says as he ushers her in. "I know you hate to sleep alone."

She's isn't that girl **anymore**.

xx

'**I like to sleep. I have a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake.'**


	7. Make Noise

**tripnfallbri****- You are the coolest. I love long reviews, so thanks a lot for the feedback. Same to everyone else who reviewed, I'm happy you're happy. Oh and this chapter has a little bit of angst overload. **

**--**

**I have lost the will to live. **

**Simply nothing more to give. **

**There is nothing more for me. **

**Need the end to set me free.**

**--**

She's sleeping. She always is, or at least it seems like always. So when Peyton knocks on her door, she doesn't really bother to get up. And when Millicent calls, she doesn't pick up. And she hasn't talked to Lucas since their fight. 3 days ago. It's interesting though, because even though she's in bed, she can't sleep. So since a few nights ago, she's been taking sleeping pills. And they work, so she takes them again. And again. And again. Risk of dependency, what a load of crap.

So tonight, when she's in the bathroom, she takes one. And then for fun she takes six more, with a shot of vodka. Classic.

--

He feels bad. She's his best friend, and they haven't talked for 3 days. It feels like forever. So he rents a movie and calls her. And she doesn't pick up. So he calls again. And again. And then, being the stalker-hero he is, goes to her house.

"Brooke?" he says, getting her key off the top of the door frame and letting himself in. "Brooke? Are you home? Is anyone home?"

The bathroom light is on. So he knocks but she doesn't answer, which is odd, since normal people are usually pretty active in the bathroom. He goes in.

"Oh my God." He whispers. There she is, Brooke Davis in all her freaking glory, passed out on the bathroom floor.

--

**Your life's an open book **

**Don't close it before it's done**

**--**

Peyton walks in and it's the first thing she hears.

"Brooke! Oh my God. Fuck, Brooke."

It's his voice, and she recognizes it. She thinks they're having sex.

Brooke is such a bitch. She walks toward the sound, fully prepared to slap Brooke when she gets there, and stops at the bathroom door. Kinky. But what she sees when she opens the door almost knock her off her feet. He's sitting there, Lucas Scott, cradling her in his arms, slapping cool water on her cheeks and whispering in her ear. And her eyes are closed, and they don't plan on opening any time soon.

"Shit."


	8. The Search For It

**On the morning when I woke up without you for the first time  
It was cold, so I put on a sweater, and I turned up the heat  
And the walls began to close in and I felt so sad and frightened  
I practically ran from the living room out into the street  
**

-

It's too damn clean in this place, and it just makes him angrier.

He can't help but feel like this is all **her** fault. But part of him feels like he's to blame. Because in the end it was him who promised to save her. From all of it. From herself. He looks at Peyton who sits in the corner, staring at her shoes.

"Luke, Are you okay?" Haley asks. She's standing in front of him and he's not exactly sure how she found out and got here. In fact how he even got here is a big fat blur.

"Don't you think you should be asking about your potentially dead best friend?" He spits. He can't even bring himself to say her name. Haley sinks back to Nathan, who left Jamie with Deb for the night. Normally Nathan, being the protector and all, would tell Lucas to stop being a dick because it's not Haley's fault but the look Lucas sends him is more than enough to make him back off.

-

**And the wind began to blow, and all the trees began to pant  
And the world, in its cold way, started coming alive  
And I stood there like a businessman waiting for the train  
And I got ready for the future to arrive  
**

**-**

"Anyone for Brooke Davis?" Lucas jumps out of his seat and rushes to the doctor before anyone else. "Me." He says.

"Are you a relative of Ms. Davis?"

"I'm her, uh, her husband." Because if he said Brooke was his sister, he'd feel gross.

"Well, most prescription sleeping pills have a type of drug known as a benzodiazepine, a central nervous system depressant. That mixed with the alcohol and anti-depressants she ingested can be toxic and fatal." He explains, voice drained of emotion.

"Is she-" Lucas asks, shaking with fear.

"She's still sedated, but alive. When she wakes up is up to her. She's allowed one visitor at a time." The doctor walks off coldly and Lucas wonders how he can do this every day.

-

**And I sang oh, what do I do? What do I do without you?**

**-**

Lucas tells them she's alive and allowed a visitor. She can't be first though, because she doesn't know if she could handle seeing Brooke like that. They all sit in the silence until Lucas gets up quietly and walks off to her room.

"Hey Brooke." He says. She looks cold and pale. Small. "You don't need another one of my 'famous speeches, I know. But I know you can hear me and I need to you know some stuff. I feel like this is your fault. I'm so angry at you and I hate you for doing this. But them I feel like I'm being selfish because it's my fault too. Because I told you I would be here for you, I promised to save you. And I failed. I lost. And I'm lost."

He's crying now and he hates it. Because even if they aren't dating, this is what she does to him. He needs her.

-

**But I woke up this morning with a piece of past caught in my throat…  
And then I choked.**

THE END. THE COOLEST.


End file.
